Whether you are on the receiving end or want to break up, breaking up is never easy. It causes a rollercoaster of emotions, and your mind will try to trick you into avoiding conflict.
You might have been thinking about breaking up for a while. You tried to detox and felt a lot better. Yet, somehow, he managed to pull you back and woo you into his influence.
If you're honest with yourself, you know the relationship is not making you happy, and there are some easy tricks to break up with Mark once and for all.
PS. Mark is Facebook. I like to picture him as a person, making it more personal.
I know I wasn't happy. I was no longer posting, I was just mindlessly scrolling.
These five tips helped me get rid of Facebook once and for all.
Step 1 | Be honest with yourself.
When what you both value is no longer aligned, you should already be considering a breakup.
What you consider necessary in life is no longer respected by Mark. You have outgrown each other.
Sure, he used to be someone exciting that showed you a new world. But now he is dull and seems to be taking advantage of you.
It's pretty toxic if you think about it.
Before you break up, write down how you don't want to feel anymore and how you do want to feel. Close your eyes and visualize your new life.
This way, you can be clear when you deliver the message.
Here's what I did:
- I pictured the hours of mindless scrolling. It was time I could have spent with my family, reading, listening to music, or learning a new skill.
- I created a list of Facebook logins on different platforms and made sure I changed these first. It already felt like I meant business.
- I downloaded my entire Facebook page (here's how to do that).
- I prepared a nice little banner for my Facebook friends. This way, they could get in touch with me elsewhere if they wanted to invite me to a wedding or baby shower.
- I temporarily deactivated my account two weeks after I put up the banner (here's how to do that)
Step 2 | Imagine the top 5 negative moments in your relationship.
We are hardwired to focus on positive things, so resist the urge to think about the good times. The good times dried up a long time ago.
Remember the time Mark sold your personal information? Remember the time he used your images without asking you? Remember when Mark tried to convince you to buy more sneakers only because you literally just bought a new pair? Remember when he changed your timeline for no apparent reason except to insert more ads?
Mark has changed, and you won't be able to change him.
Step 3 | Don't give mixed signals.
Breaking up with Mark is turbulent mainly for you.
Mark only superficially cares.
You will receive messages and reminders that are tested and designed to pull you back in. That's Mark. He is deliberate and calculated like that.
Resist the temptation by automatically moving all emails to a designated folder in your inbox. Forget about the folder.
This time, you will commit.
Step 4 | Tell your friends
Tell your friends and family where they can find you.
I mentioned the banner already.
You can also reach out to the group of people that you want to keep close.
I created a channel on QP for family and friends and another for colleagues. This way, I can stay in touch with everyone on my terms.
Step 5 | Delete, delete, delete
Now, it's time to delete the app on all your devices.
Delete the messaging app as well.
Clean your browser cache and history, so autofill data disappears. You can remind yourself of all the above reasons before making a horrible, emotional decision that will drag you back to where you started.
We all want to delete Facebook. But, it is easier said than done.
It has been part of my life since early 2007.
Its existence is intertwined with mine.
Still, it was time to say goodbye because I wanted to focus on what matters: building meaningful connections with a focused group of people online and offline.